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Alright Warrior,
Can we talk about the third ask?
You know the one.
When my daughter is trying to be funny, get my attention, or convince me to say yes to something she really, really wants… she asks. And asks. And asks again. Rapid fire. On repeat. No pauses. No mercy. 😅
The first two times? I’m good. I’m patient. I’m even amused.
By the third time — usually within a minute or two — my tone changes. My body tightens. I start sounding grouchy, sharp, or just done.
And then she asks, genuinely confused, “Why are you mad?”
Here’s the thing: for a long time, I didn’t actually know the answer.
So instead of snapping (okay… snapping less), I got curious. I started paying attention to what was happening inside me in those moments.
And here’s what I realized:
It’s not her asking. It’s the nervous system pile-up.
What’s happening in real time:
My brain is already juggling 17 things
The repeated questions feel like pressure, not conversation
My body goes into low-grade fight-or-flight
My tolerance drops fast, not because I’m angry — but because I’m overloaded
That repeated asking hits my sensory system like someone tapping me on the shoulder over and over and over while I’m trying to think.
It’s not disrespect. It’s not manipulation. And it’s not me being a “bad mom.”
It’s a nervous system mismatch.
She’s seeking connection, reassurance, or regulation. My system is quietly screaming, “I need space. I need quiet. I need a second.”
Once I understood that, everything shifted.
Now I can say things like:
“I’m not mad at you — my brain just needs a pause.”
“I heard you the first time. Repeating makes my body feel overwhelmed.”
“Let’s take a breath and try again in one minute.”
No blame. No shame. Just information.
If this happens in your house — with your kids, your partner, or honestly anyone — you’re not broken. You’re not mean. You’re not failing.
You’re responding to sensory and cognitive overload, and that’s a real thing — especially for neurodivergent brains and exhausted nervous systems.
Awareness doesn’t make it perfect. But it does make it kinder. And way less shame-y.
If this hit home, you’re not alone. And you’re definitely not doing it wrong.
Love Always, Amy, Your Mental Health Warrior & Neurodivergent Advocate 💚
To subscribe to my newsletter please enter your e-mail address below. You will be kept in the loop about all new podcast episodes, get information on how life living with mental health and neurodiversity struggles can be and some tips on how to make it easier. You will receive sales e-mails as well for my digital products or coaching. You can unsubscribe at any time if you decide this is no longer for you.
