Learning to Like Yourself Without Fixing Everything First
Advancing With Amy
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Alright Warrior,
Somewhere along the way, a lot of us learned this quiet little rule:
You’ll like yourself once you’re better. Calmer. More productive. Less emotional. More consistent. Less messy. Less… you.
So we turn self-like into a future reward. Something we earn after healing, fixing, improving, optimizing.
And honestly? That’s exhausting.
Because here’s the truth no one says loud enough: If you’re waiting to like yourself until everything is sorted out… you’ll be waiting forever.
There will always be something. Another habit to fix. Another trigger to work through. Another season where your energy dips or your brain goes sideways.
Liking yourself can’t be conditional on perfection — especially when you’re neurodivergent or living with mental health stuff. That bar is rigged.
Learning to like yourself without fixing everything first looks more like this:
1. Separating who you are from how you’re doing You are not your symptoms. You are not your productivity level. You are not your worst day or your messiest moment.
You’re a whole human having a human experience — even when it’s inconvenient.
2. Letting “good enough” be enough You don’t have to feel amazing about yourself to stop actively disliking yourself. Neutral is a powerful starting point.
“I’m allowed to exist like this today” counts.
3. Dropping the inner improvement deadline There is no version of you that suddenly becomes worthy once you arrive. You don’t unlock self-acceptance at the end of the healing journey.
You bring it with you.
4. Practicing curiosity instead of criticism Instead of “What’s wrong with me?” Try “What’s going on for me?”
One keeps you stuck. The other keeps you human.
5. Allowing yourself to be likable and unfinished You can be kind, funny, thoughtful, loving, creative — and still struggle. Both things can be true at the same time.
You don’t have to love yourself every day. That’s not realistic.
But liking yourself just enough to stop fighting who you are? That’s doable. And it’s powerful.
So if you’re in a season where you’re still healing, still figuring things out, still very much a work in progress — hear this:
You don’t need to become someone else to deserve your own kindness. You’re allowed to like yourself now, mid-process, rough edges and all.
No fixing required.
Love Always, Amy, Your Mental Health Warrior & Neurodivergent Advocate 💚
To subscribe to my newsletter please enter your e-mail address below. You will be kept in the loop about all new podcast episodes, get information on how life living with mental health and neurodiversity struggles can be and some tips on how to make it easier. You will receive sales e-mails as well for my digital products or coaching. You can unsubscribe at any time if you decide this is no longer for you.
